Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
