I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
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We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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