Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Small penises have feelings too.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
