I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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