Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
