We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
