You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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