New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
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I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
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You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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