you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
