Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
