Pants 0. Shit 1.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dignity is for republicans.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
