he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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