I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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