My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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