come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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