shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
