the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm bleeding and have questions
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
