No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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