he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
