Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize