my mouth tastes like poor choices
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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