My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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