What did we do last night that was yellow?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
