is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
