fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Randomize
