Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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