I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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