Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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