I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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