officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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