after a month anything with tits is on the radar
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
