Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
