i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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