Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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