We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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