I'm really into asian looking animals
I puked a lego.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
