Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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