we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I want a musical about memes.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
