i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
