if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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