I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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