It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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