she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
