I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
