When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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