You can't special order awesome
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
