I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
