splinters make it hard to masturbate
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
