is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
