everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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