it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
