I just cut my nipple shaving
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
