You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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