when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
