Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
