he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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