Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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