He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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