Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
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I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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