this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
